Quick facts about me

I can’t swim. Not for lack of trying.

I have only visited one country outside of the UK – Spain.

I am short-sighted. Anything more than 2 metres away is blurry.

I attended 5 different primary schools due to my dad moving us around every time he changed jobs. This massively unsettled me socially.

I have never broken a bone.

I have no tattoos. If I was to get one, it’d probably be a 1:1 scale of my best mate Marley’s (a golden labrador) paw print.

I have one piercing on my left ear lobe, although it has probably healed up by now.

The first and only concert I have attended was the Sugababes in 2007.

I can’t drive. I had a few lessons but absolutely hated it. Probably because my style of learning is different to what the instructor was used to.

I am a really fussy eater and won’t eat anything remotely spicy or with an unpleasant smell or texture. I go out of my way to avoid curry.

I drink a lot of tea, especially in the mornings. About 4 mugs an hour.

I have one sibling – a brother who is three years younger than me.

I set up my first website in the late ’90s. It was called “Samsite” and focused on the TV programmes I loved at the time, such as Neighbours and Byker Grove.

I am 6’1″ and my waist size goes up and down like a yo-yo – I’ve been 28″ and also 36″ waist.

I was born in Blackburn, Lancashire.

I generally always had a great memory for useless information, although my medication in recent years has destroyed this ability.

I have been under mental health care since I was ~13 – over half of my life, although I suspect the problems began when I was ~9.

I can’t play any musical instruments, although I dabbled with the Recorder and Keyboard as a child.

My grandparents are/were English, Welsh, Irish and Northern Irish.

I met Tony Blair when he was Prime Minister and it was televised on the local news. I lived in his constituency at the time, and my school’s gardening club were taken to an exhibition he was attending.

I’m right-handed.

My first job was working in Toys ‘R’ Us for £3.90/hour. I left after 3 weeks because it was cliquey and I didn’t agree with lying to customers in order to up-sell.

Of all the places I’ve lived, Sedgefield in County Durham is my favourite. Great people and community.

I have never been on a proper rollercoaster – only the slower, less loopy ones. When I am dragged to a theme park I always offer to be the bag holder because I can’t cope with the days of nausea that comes after these sort of rides.

As a child my favourite shop was Staples because of all the stationery and computer equipment.

My middle name is James.

I was never allowed a pet as a child. Instead I improvised and made a yellow dog out of Lego, which I named Shadow. He had a bed made from scrunched up tissues.

My first mobile phone was the Bosch 509e in Orange. I saved up my holiday spending money and bought it for £40. My mum cried for hours afterwards because she was convinced I was going to die of a brain tumour.

If I was born a girl my parents would have named me Sophie.

When I was in my first year of primary school, the class teacher would frequently call on me to ‘fix’ the class computer.

It took me years before I worked out that my grandparents were my parents’ parents. I thought they were just people chosen for the role.

I used to think ‘the olden days’ was actually in black and white, until one day somebody invented colour.

I have brown hair and eyes.

I have a major sweet tooth – chocolate, gummy sweets and cake are all magic.

My favourite kind of chocolate is Kinder, Guylian or Lindt.

My alcoholic drink of choice is usually Strongbow cider, although I have a difficult relationship with alcohol.

My favourite kind of cake is Costco’s Carrot Cake.

My biggest turn-offs are long hair and bad smells.

If I won the lottery I’d like to keep it a secret, making sure I look after my family and set myself up for life.

As a child I thought Kansas was a fictional place from The Wizard of Oz.

My dad used to get really frustrated with me as a child because I was obsessed with car number plates, particularly P reg. He always hoped I would be more interested in the makes and models of the cars.

I have all of my own teeth with no fillings.

I was raised without religion playing a part in my life, and I am not religious as an adult. The world has taught me that religion is the root of all conflict and hatred, and I think the world would be a better place without it.

I developed an eating disorder when I was 16, the effects of which stuck around until my mid 20s. I have never been able to find a balance with eating behaviours, having been at both ends of the spectrum – undereating and overeating.

My favourite childhood films were Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey and Matilda, and I still enjoy watching them as an adult.

I struggle to find a healthy outlet for anger and frustration, so it tends to build up inside and turn into nasty rants on Twitter. I’ve been working on this part of myself in some detail.

I love building computers. I upgraded internal parts of my family computer when I was 8 years old, but didn’t build my first complete one until 2008.

I have a keen interest in video editing, and enjoy learning all there is to know about different video technologies. Unfortunately it has made me highly susceptible to spotting when the professionals get it wrong.

I love creating stories, characters and TV show ideas. I don’t like scriptwriting, so these ideas often don’t go further than my hard drive.

My major pet peeve is ‘vertical video’ which comes from people holding their phones the wrong way when recording video. Unfortunately with the rise of things like Snapchat, Instagram and TikTok I am fighting a losing battle.

I love character-based British comedy. I’m fascinated by the concept of nothing really happening plot-wise, but because all the comedy comes from the characters you’re still glued throughout. Especially when all the action takes place on one set. Some of my favourites are The Royle Family, Dinnerladies, Him and Her, The Smoking Room and Car Share.

I love the X-Men film franchise. I’m super aware of all the flaws they have (I even keep track of them in a document) but I get so much enjoyment from watching them, particularly their take on the fight for equality and civil rights.

Generally I prefer watching TV shows over films – there’s something about the prospect of sitting still for 2 hours that stresses me out, so 30 minute bursts with breaks in-between are better for me.

I am fond of the serial drama (soap) genre. I tend to always end up supporting the underdogs – I’ve watched Neighbours all my life (bar a few breaks) and I jump in and out of Hollyoaks.

I met my other half, Craig, when I was 17 via mutual friends and we’ve been together ever since. We both have had our fair share of trauma, with many barricades on our journey, but we are each other’s constant.

Anxious 30s male barely surviving

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