Musings

I hate that my writing could get identified as being written by an AI simply because I correctly use em dashes (—). I’m incredibly anal about my use of these, because I always have context to add to my statements, and it seem grammatically incorrect to use a simple dash/hyphen (-). I’ve even learned Alt+0151 on my keyboard in order to quickly use it. But the fact that someone could instantly dismiss my writing because it uses punctuation that’s coincidentally often used by an AI… that really pisses me off.

Why does nowhere sell big fat wedges of dirty chocolate fudge cake anymore? It’s all dry brownies or overly fancy concoctions. I’m just craving a giant piece of Trunchbull-style chocolate fudge cake, but I don’t want to have to buy (and therefore eat) an entire cake just to get one piece.

Seeing a lot of people ‘hating’ on the current Bee Network public transport system, which Labour mayor Andy Burnham is overseeing.

It’s frustrating, because it seems people complaining are choosing to make their complaints political, rather than rational. I don’t ever remember a time when Greater Manchester’s public transport system ran flawlessly. When I used to get buses to college twenty years ago, they would frequently fail to turn up. When I used to try and get home from my partner’s house late at night, I’d frequently be sat in the dark at a bus stop only for the last bus to not turn up, or to drive past me. I learned that I should never rely on public transport with no backup plan, and that’s the approach I’ve had ever since. The point is, these issues have always existed, and I don’t understand why people are choosing to make out like this is a new issue.

The Bee Network plan is hugely ambitious. It’s desperately needed for the future of the area. It’s inevitable that there will be teething problems, and that some drivers will let standards slip. This is unfortunate, and frustrating, but it’s not a new thing. People should always have a backup plan in place. A spare twenty in their wallet for a taxi, etc. I wish people would direct their anger at the situation rather than making it an attack on the politics of the ambition. It just comes across as irrational and discredits the complaint.

Why are so many people unwilling to share pavements? It’s a real pet peeve of mine, as somebody who is constantly aware of my surroundings when I’m out walking in public, making sure I’m not blocking anyone’s path. Why do a group of 3 adults feel it’s okay to take up the entire pavement so that someone coming the opposite way has to walk in a busy road? Why does a woman on her phone at the park have her dog on a retractable lead stretched out across the path, so that anyone coming past will trip over the invisible lead? Why are people so selfish? Weren’t they brought up to consider other people? Is it power games? Entitlement? I don’t know, but it really pisses me off.

Recently, I accidentally bought the wrong box of tissues. The ‘standard’ sized ones instead of the ‘extra large’. Or ‘man size’ as they used to be called. So I assume that means I bought ‘woman size’?

Can anyone tell me what the point of the standard sized ones is? I tried to blow my nose with it and it barely covered both nostrils. Absolutely useless. I instantly felt my rage rising by it. Proper first world problems.

A pet peeve of mine that has developed over the last few years is related to this whole misinformation thing.

The worst bit is the people who prey on gullible folks, getting them to lap up whatever conspiracy they’re trying to make happen at that time. They’ll make a video that creates a vibe of “we’re professional, we know what we’re talking about”. They talk semi-eloquently about their beliefs, usually alongside somebody else who shares them, and usually just hammering out the same old buzz words the rest of the world rolls their eyes at. They are derogatory towards anybody who doesn’t share their beliefs. There’s never anyone included who can debunk their theories, or the wild statements they make—having to defend their viewpoints against arguments isn’t something these people have grasped yet. Yet these gullible viewers absolutely eat it all up. They’ll share it on their social media pages as if it somehow backs up what they read in a far-right newspaper or from their dickhead racist mate at the pub. And it spreads even further, completely unchallenged. People continue to believe this misinformation and make serious life decisions based on it. They never once question the alternatives; they only focus on the bits that corroborate what they wanted to believe in the first place.

It frustrates me to see it so much. When someone I know shares something like this, I instantly lose all respect for them and my confidence in their ability to form a balanced opinion on something. It’s as if they’re posting it with a smug look on their face, like a big middle finger to all those science “sheep” who’re only interested in facts and evidence.

I’ve just got no time for it anymore. It puts me in a foul mood to see people I know being so gullible. If I see people interacting with that shit, I no longer have the energy to be the person that tells them they’re a moron. I’m just leaving them to it. Let them drag the rest of the world down with them. I don’t care anymore.

Craig needed cigarettes and I wanted to go for a little wander, so I offered to get him some from Tesco while I was out. I struggle with this kind of thing, because cigarettes always have really long and complicated names that I can’t get out of my mouth in the right order, so I over-rehearse what I’m supposed to ask for. I’m the same in coffee shops, so I keep my order to one word names unless they have a digital ordering system where I can actually choose what I want. I haven’t smoked since 12th June 2019, so I’m a bit out of practice, and the cigarette order doesn’t come naturally to me now. Anyway, the lady obviously became suspicious when I was trying to remember the words to ask for, and she asked to see my ID. She was quite surprised when I said I was 36. I don’t begrudge her doing her job and protecting herself, but I am a bit pissed off that a situation I am always very anxious about ended up creating more awkward social interaction than I had catered for. I’m quite frustrated about it, and a bit embarrassed, because I am already so paranoid about the way my speech comes out to people. She’s proven to me that it’s noticeable.

Craig says that it means I look young. I don’t think it does. I think I came across like someone who had never bought cigarettes before.

This feels totally out of touch, like something the previous government would have done.

They obviously haven’t done enough research on it, or are hoping the general public won’t be aware of the truth. For a start, Personal Independence Payment is NOT easy to claim like they have made out. It’s highly unlikely somebody would be awarded it solely for a common mental health issue, as the government seem to be suggesting. I think they need to take a serious look at the complaints about the cruel assessment process for the benefit, which already makes it near impossible for those with the highest support needs, and the amount of appeals that are overturned once an actual doctor gets involved in the process. PIP is also completely unrelated to your ability to work. It’s more about trying to balance out the cost of being disabled, to help level the playing field for people living with a disability.

Secondly, many people in receipt of this support ARE already working, as PIP itself is not enough to live on. The benefit exists to help create equity for the costs associated with being disabled, e.g., therapeutic treatments for pain, electricity to run machines, adapted vehicles to allow you to travel to work, to pay for taxis when walking isn’t possible, food deliveries when you are unable to prepare a meal, to pay somebody to support you with day-to-day tasks. Essentially, it’s not fair that an able-bodied person earning e.g., £1,000 per month is free to spend that money how they choose, but a disabled person earning the same amount may first have to spend £800 per month on the services that actually allow them to get to work in the first place, and then find they aren’t actually earning enough to cover their bills. Reducing this benefit will mean disabled people find they are working solely to pay for their disability, rather than working to pay bills and live a meaningful life.

Thirdly, if someone in receipt of PIP isn’t working, it’s either because they aren’t well enough to be contributing to society, working would negatively impact their disability, or there simply aren’t jobs available that support their additional needs. How many employers do you know who would hire someone knowing they will have to make many accommodations for them? Give them extended breaks? Allow them time off regularly for sickness or appointments? The support just isn’t there, and I think the government needs to be ensuring there are schemes in place to support this first, rather than just trapping vulnerable people who have no other option. Whilst I don’t disagree that if a person living with a disability is able to work without negatively impacting their disability then they should, I think it’s better to support them with that, rather than threaten and punish them.

It feels cruel to target some of the most vulnerable people in society, knowing that they can’t defend themselves. I doubt it will make any difference to balancing the books. It seems ignorant to suggest that disabled people are scamming the system by daring to give themselves some kind of quality of life. I also think something needs to be done about the amount of support services that are locked behind PIP: you can’t access them if you aren’t claiming benefits, regardless of whether you need them. Not everyone applying for PIP is out to game the system for as much as they can get; some people are encouraged to do it in order to access the support they need to improve their health.

Regarding the Health Secretary’s comments about mental health conditions… I am in slight agreement that they can be over-diagnosed or unnecessarily medicalised; for example, a young person feeling worried about an upcoming exam doesn’t need to be given a medical diagnosis of anxiety, because that’s a perfectly normal and human emotion, and learning to overcome these feelings are an important part of development. BUT I think we also have to consider that the world is a much darker place now, with a lot less hope for the future. It was inevitable that more people would start to struggle mentally as a result of this, when the past 20 years has been spent taking away peoples’ futures.

It’s sad to see this government leaning so far to the right when we expected a bit more compassion than the last lot.